Taking things seriously

“So what if instead of thinking about solving your whole life, you just think about adding additional good things. One at a time. Just let your pile of good things grow.”
– Rainbow Rowell

The beginning half of this year, in reflection, has seemingly been a blur. I’m at a point where I’m not sure how I’ve gotten to almost June. Working full-time, coming home to be with family and then managing freelance projects makes days go by quickly and sometimes in a blur. I’m at this point where I must now make decisions. Decisions about what to continue to pursue.

My family is an area of life that I am not willing to give any ground. I am actually actively looking for ways to spend more time with them. This is key to what I want in my life, more time with my family. As my children grow, I want to grow with them. It pains me to think that I am less involved than I and my children want me to be. Paisley is constantly telling me that she wishes I could be home all the time. There is value to going to a job, doing good work and teaching my children about maintaining a job. Believe me, though, that it hurts when she is affected that way.

Running my own studio has its challenges and rewards. To this point, though, I have been divided. I make choices on a daily basis about what actions are needed to be done during the day and if I make the wrong choice, projects start to take more time. I have a limited time, so every decision is key. I feel I have not made the right choices to this point. One decision that I have made is the decision where I try to run this on my own. What this does is leave me in a vacuum to be in charge of my own accountability. This often ends up in making the choice that I want to make rather than the choice I need to make. Going forward, I will be looking to my friends and network to help me build on the small successes that I have had.

Working a full-time job in today’s society is broken. If you are lower than a certain title, you are treated as an asset. Higher than that title and you are treated still as an asset but with the expectation that you give your life to the company. Neither of these choices empower or provide a satisfying work environment. Take this with a grain of salt, I have had limited experiences compared to some. There are jobs out there that provide a lot of satisfaction to their employees, but they are not the norm. So, when I look at working a full-time job at this point in my life, it provides very little to help me achieve my goals.

With all that being said, I find the quote above to be very pertinent to how I can get to the place I want to be. My focus needs to shift from solving why my life is this way to adding the good things I want in my life, letting those things grow until the things I don’t want have no more room.

More for myself than anything, I will be documenting my progress to get to my ideal, sharing stories, tips and other interesting items, that I hope does resonate with others. But primarily, this is to keep me honest and give myself a way to look back at the things I said I wanted to accomplish.

Have a great day!!!

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